Diary of a Tigress | Episode 03
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I have something to share with you today that is possibly more so for women newer to the feminine awakening kind of work and embodiment. But it also will be a good reminder to those who've been in it for a while as well. So, there are these questions. I've got four questions here that I've noticed floating around a lot. And sometimes they get asked to me but mostly I just see them being questions on women's minds and feeling maybe disappointed and feeling like they've been a bit misled when it comes to feminine work and deep feminine understandings and so, I want to address these four things that I've been noticing repeatedly going on.
Okay. Welcome back to another episode and if you've listened to the previous ones, you would already know at least from this podcast if you don't know me before this, that I really do believe that we all have something to share, we all have a creative edge of our wild nature as women to all be tapping into to be in our own creative flow, to be manifesting that in fairly unique ways.
And I also believe that we really are portals as women, we are star gates, we are the living gateways to the physical realm as women. And that is an absolutely incredible thing. And so, my understanding when it comes to feminine practices when it comes to female embodiment is quite vast, it's not just about developing the sensual and sexual energy connection within ourselves as women. It is all of that, but it also goes far beyond that as well. So, there are 4 main things that I've noticed going on and these are questions that are on women's minds. And maybe it's questions that they have just from looking at this kind of work from the outside without venturing into it yet. And I've also noticed these come up as questions for women that have maybe as I mentioned had some may be disappointing experiences or felt like they were left unequipped of how to bring that energy more into their lives. And the reason that I don't personally get asked these questions pretty much ever these days is because I think women can feel that it's not necessary for them to ask because maybe I'm already answering this or maybe I'm just being an example of what else is within this realm. You know so let me get to the first one and it's a question that I've noticed of, is it just about trying to become more feminine? And if it's about trying to become more feminine, then why?
Okay, so I mean the quickest briefest answer is no, it's not just about trying to become more feminine. We already are so deeply feminine. If you are a woman, you already are this. But the reality is that there is so much ancestral and societal conditioning that's on top of your most primordial magnificent deep feminine frequencies that have the potential to be moving through you on all levels of your being. And in order to decondition ourselves from what is actually locking in and you know, suppressing and holding down our ability to feel all that we can feel when it comes to the range of sensitivity that our female bodies are capable of feeling and all of it from you know pain to pleasure, all of our emotions. Like all of them, not just the pleasant ones, all of our extended amazing multiple capacities for orgasmic pleasure as well and how all of that can connect us to the energetic world in profoundly magical spiritual ways.
So, in being able to experience these things it is our natural state, and yet our natural state is not what's normal. And so, the process of female embodiment work is about coming back home to a natural state and letting go of the indoctrinated normal state which doesn't mean that you can't function as part of the world because you certainly can, but it's definitely not about trying to become more feminine. It's about your authenticity. It's about allowing the full range of your feminine energies as well. So, this kind of question implies that feminine is a very particular thing. It's funny because this is a word that has many different levels of meaning. It certainly does in my reality. Because there is a way of using the word feminine. Which means you know quite soft and gentle or girly and there's also a way of using it with more of a capital F which is like the feminine principle itself you know it's a collective, it's a name for a collective energy that is beyond the personal.
And there's also another meaning that I've come to know which is actually that there's a full spectrum range of what feminine is, and what that literally means to me as a definition. So, although you know, if comparing different energies like if you're seeing a contrast of different energies that might be very just feel authentic in the moment to say oh that's so feminine and that's fine. That's one particular meaning of it right.
But for women that actually really get in to their bodies, for women who actually go beyond the concepts and really get down and into inhabiting themselves through their bodies they're going to find that there's an enormous range of feelings and expressions and sounds and movements that comes through our feminine bodies and through our voices, through our hearts, through our sexual energy that you know can register along the full spectrum.
So, to me feminine is a huge range. And each woman is served greatly to get to know her own range and to broaden that and that's part of the process of de-conditioning out of our kind of modern mediocrity and all of that ancestral societal programming that I've mentioned before as well. And the things is that when, that's universal for all women, what I just said right. But there's also the fact that each woman has her unique energies. She has her unique personality, her unique soul path if you like. Her kind of original divine blueprint of her soul. And we are all so different at that level. And so, some women will be naturally more strong, more fierce, more outwardly powerful with their energies and although they might learn how to access a huge full spectrum range of their different feelings and expressions their most you know prominent way that they tend to bring that through might occupy more of that feminine Yang or it's really young but, when I say that people might think I mean girls as opposed to women, feminine Yang as opposed to feminine Yin. And they're both incredibly powerful. And yet the culture, the society that we're living in certainly really has the biggest space for the feminine Ying energies.
But only in narrow applications by the way like through being soft and gentle and nurturing. So, the mother is you know, not that she's given the amount of honouring that is actually required for a healthy society but we'll get into that in a different episode.
So, there is more acceptance, there's more social permission if you like for women to occupy their more Ying feminine energy and in a lot of ways there's not a whole lot of welcoming energy around a woman who naturally authentically has a greater proportion of feminine yang, although she also most definitely would have her Ying as well. And when I talk about feminine yang, I'm not saying the over-masculinised kind of woman, because that is conditioning, that is programming, and that does get broken down at least in the spaces that I hold for women for sure. And that gets broken down pretty damn quickly actually. I'm talking about something that's very true and very natural and even when her dominant programming of over masculinisation which is a very, very common thing, that women go through it still is this yeah, this very true presence in her and one of the beautiful things about really experiencing yourself as a woman in women's community is that there is this extraordinary experience of recognising yourself, seeing yourself in context through contrast of different women. And now we did this for years and years and years with Tigress in person in the same room, in physical huge circles of women sometimes small, sometimes huge. And part of the healing of that experience was you know when women are all going through this alchemical somatic female alchemy that Tigress is, and they're all practicing this together their different expressions you know, would really ignite each other and that does still get to happen online as well.
But talking about this sacred experience of contrast between women like not only would it ignite and activate each other’s sense of internal permission and freedom of expression and you know, maybe just longing to experience what another woman in the room is allowing herself to come into contact with, it's a place where it becomes really obvious of what someone's most natural energy and presence really is and how that touches other women. And that's going to really help her to see herself, to accept herself and to really hone in on what her natural gifts actually are in that regard with her feminine energy which is going to serve her in every single aspect of her life, her inner world and her outer world.
So, this is just answering the first question that, you know, is female embodiment just about trying to become more feminine, and so the definition of feminine has been greatly broadened through what I just described right. And even if someone already had that understanding this leads into one of the other questions, I'm going to say in a few moments but when we are allowing the fullness of our female presence, to embody and to be expressed, to be seen, to be visible, to have permission to exist and to expand and to spread out, where that then travels to is far beyond their class, it's far beyond just working with the organic technology of the embodiment practice itself. Like that is just the catalyst right, and what then becomes possible in terms of yeah, all of her different experiences, all of her different expressions which include her you know more soft Yin nurturing incredibly powerful Yin feminine and the ways that that gets naturally expressed and experienced in her life. But also, it leads to the cultivation of many other parts of herself including her healthy masculine energy. But I'm going to get to that in a moment. So, I'll probably do that with this next question because the next one is, "okay so we're doing this feminine work where unlocking and expanding our feminine energy, shouldn’t we also be doing masculine practices too?"
And this one kind of makes me laugh. Because it relieves a pretty big misunderstanding of what feminine embodiment alchemy actually is and what it's genuinely really for. So again, the short answer is no, we don't need to be actually doing the same masculine practices like in a way that a man would to get into his own masculine energy, we don't have to do it like that. So, the point is you are a woman, if you are a woman listening to this. You are a woman, you are in a female body, and therefore your physiology and your energy body which follows your physiology or vice versa, they run energy in a certain way. And the alchemy, the somatic practice of tigress and other female embodiment practices are intending to work in harmony with that. Where Tigress really does take it quite a bit further in terms of women related developing themselves, is that it's not just about getting in touch with your feminine Yin like I mentioned before, it's not just about getting in touch with your sensuality and your sexuality, it's about continuing to meet yourself in the full allowing energy, the full allowing presence of all of you. It might not be sensual in one of the practices, it might not feel sexual right? But it is going to be the authentic, organic unfolding of what actually needs to move through you so that you can find that restedness back into that place that feels like home which is where your sensual energy becomes available to you. Which is where your sexual aliveness is born from. But there's a lot that gets transmitted in that process where there's so much encouragement and intentional space holding for you to meet all of the different things that are actually really moving through you.
So, it's not about just trying to do something to feel a look sensual or sexual in the moment. That's not what this work really is at the deeper levels of it. For sure it can have those effects, but the point really is the authentic organic unfolding and the emotional detoxification and the meeting of yourself in your body beyond your thoughts deeper than your concepts through your breath, through the sacred elements that make up your body to actually digest properly and process what's being moving through your mind to meet that energy in your body and to discharge what is not really serving you and to actually generate the energies that will really serve you. Really working with earth energy, really working with primal earth mother energy and really working with the high-high frequencies of divine source is also what we're doing in how we're experiencing this divine architecture of our female forms in Tigress right.
And what happens is when you go beyond just trying to do practices to get in touch with your feminine, to get past the over masculinisation conditioning. That's a thing, that is a stage most definitely and over the years I ended up identifying the phases or stages of development in female embodiment. And so, meeting where that hardening is in certain ways mostly towards our own selves as women but also how that outwardly gets expressed and how the real energy of a woman's body is generally kind of quite locked down or at least her heart and her womb are not really speaking to each other if you like, that's a process to get that flowing again, yes.
But there are other phases of development when a woman keeps meeting herself deeply, deeply in the mystery, deeply in the void and actually is having a relationship with herself as a gateway, as a portal in the way that Tigress teaches for example. So, coming back to, should we be doing masculine practices also, so to me that would feel like doing something really kind of adding something artificial. You know because the more that your authentic energy is running through your system and flowing through your body and your full range of expression is allowed and you really are not limiting what can come through.
What tends to happen is that when all the hardness melts and after the genuine internal currents of real Shakti of your body begins to grow and generate and build and you get to actually heal yourself, heal your emotional body and generate this vitality in your energy field but different layers of your energy field, this is what starters to reconfigure your outer reality from all the internal alchemy work. And in this process, it is natural that your inner fire will ignite. So, I call this the feminine fire. And this is that kind of like the birthplace of a woman's feminine Yang energy. And in many ways, this is our inner masculine. And yet we don't need to stop the way that we're you know being with ourselves and begin with our bodies in order to let that come through. Because it's part of us right. Like we don't stop needing yourself as women in our womanly bodies to go and do a so called I don't know stereotype masculine practice in order to develop this when it's already allowed, when it's already permitted, when it's already encouraged inside of the alchemy practice that's happening.
It's a natural thing. And often women, if they've had reasons in their life to kind of dismiss masculine energy because of negative imprints and difficult, maybe abusive experiences that they've had it's kind of a thing that happens where that gets kind of pushed out of their space and they only want to occupy the feminine. And women who come to Tigress in this way they will realise over time that that's not healthy for them, that that is causing huge limitations in their life in terms of being able to follow through in their creative ideas, in terms of being able to have healthy relationships with men, in terms of being able to be accountable to themselves and yeah to follow through in the ways that it takes to behold you know and to be successful, to be effective and to believe in ourselves and to trust ourselves for real. That takes a level of union with our inner masculine energy as well.
And so, it really does depend on what practice you're doing. Because if what you've been engaging with has only been taking you through the first couple of stages or phases of feminine embodiment, then it might seem legitimately the case that you need to break from that and go and do some really kind of obviously masculine embodiment work. And I'm not saying that that's not helpful, like I'm thinking you know like strong martial arts or really working out at the gym, I appreciate those things. I'm not saying that that's not okay for women to be doing that. But what I am saying is that when a female embodiment practice is seasoned and it goes deep and it really does embrace all of ours as women which includes our inner masculine, then you can have this way of still working with, still moving in harmony with your female physiology, with your divine architecture of your energy, body and the way that that works differently for women than men, you can still work in harmony with that and include fully embracing and developing and bringing aliveness to your connection with your inner masculine.
And for sure that can be developed further in different ways that are kind of more individual to you I suppose, but in terms of female embodiment I feel that it's meant to be already included the space for it to exist is actually meant to be in the foundational practices. Because to me Tigress, somatic female alchemy is about inner union. It's about the real yogi path of inner union. It's not just something that we're doing to dance around in our long skirts and flowing dresses and feel like goddesses, it's about all of it. It's about all of us, because we are so amazingly full spectrum, we have this incredible range to us as women right. So that's my answer to, "should we be doing masculine practices also?"
And the next one, I've kind of just heard this more recently and it's not something that's ever been asked to me at all, and it is this kind of statement or question around that says "deep feminine work leaves women floundering". And what they mean by that is, it really ties into the last point that I just described you know, because deep feminine work leaving women floundering, this is the experience of maybe going through the first or second stage of the healing that happens from reconnecting with your deeper feminine energy in your body. But what's been offered and the environment that it's been offered in, does not go beyond that. And so maybe women really are left floundering. I haven't had the experience of seeing that happen to women, because I've been in this community for so long which really embraces feminine Yin and feminine yang. But what I've seen women share about are in the feminine work that they have done leaving the feel like they can't really integrate that into their lives. Leaving them feeling like they really want to push masculine energy as far away as possible from themselves so that they only want to operate in their feminine, they only want to be in their softness, they only want to be yielding and to lean back and to not actually you know really activate and engage and awaken that inner fire. It's actually assigned to me of not totally staying with the first couple of stages long enough for the false over masculinised front which is just the conditioning, it's just the programming, it's not the real masculine, it's the overcompensation that comes from feeling not safe to be woman, not safe to be sensitive, not sensitive to feel or your feelings, not safe to be a sensual sexual being. And it also might mean fears that come up around boundaries and this is a super common fear that most definitely you know women have flagged many, many times in working with me but that's at the very start of their journey, it's like maybe even their first class.
You know, that they kind of look around and there's so much communication that goes on on a nonverbal level in these instinctual environments that I'm in with women right. So just a glance, just a facial expression can just speak volumes to me when I've been reading energies in this work for so many years right. So I have vivid visual memories of women kind of like looking at me like oh my god, what, like you want me to let myself have it like feel all of this, and then I've got to be outside and in an hour or a couple of hours and how am I going to feel like I can put myself back together how am I going to feel safe you know, to be in this world that has so much harshness when I'm opening up to all this sensitivity and incredible you know tender fragile places inside as well as the sexual power as well as the beauty and it's like you know, we learn about boundaries. We learn about what to not keep shut down and locked away in ourselves because we haven't figured out yet as women how to have layers of boundaries, how to have a space that you hold for yourself and only share with some people rather than feeling like you know, you've got to respond to what everyone and whoever they are without discernment, you know what I mean like this is particularly the young women who have fears and concerns that come up around this.
But again, that's only at the very, very, very start before they've realised that their instinctual body is very protective and it's actually in a way part of our healthy, natural inner masculine energy, that there is this protector or protectress built into our amazing female animal bodies. And when that gets to have space, a woman is actually way more powerful in terms of being able to feel her sensitivity, feel her range, feel her power, feel her pleasure and be even more confident you know, to be able to choose who and when, any of these things get shared with others or get expression. And it doesn't need to be the case that it all needs to be locked down so hardcore that in order to protect herself that she doesn’t even feel it either. That's not a healthy place, that's the overcompensation. That's the part of what makes up the over masculinisation, the false masculine in a woman.
So that's my answer to the statement from a few different angles that I've noticed out there, do feminine work leaving women floundering, so this is just a consequence of not continuing all the way through the alchemical process, just to see what else is possible. And like I said possibly being in environments that don't offer that, and so it may be a genuine experience for some women that they are feeling like they are left floundering. But I feel like it's really important for women to know that that's not the full extent of what's possible when it comes to deep feminine work.
Okay, and the last one here that I want to mention is you know, "is feminine embodiment just about becoming more attractive and magnetic? Being more attractive to the opposite sex or you know, whoever your sexual preference is. And being more magnetic so that you can manifest all the things that you want is that what the work is all about?" And again, my short answer is no. And I've kind of answered this already through the other questions here. You know, it's really when a woman is drawn to this, to be more attractive to a man, to be more attractive to whoever her sexual preference is, to be more pleasing, to be more you know to feel more worthy of being chosen and things like this. It's a very externalised approach. And that in itself is totally part of our societal programming. And there's nothing wrong with a woman wanting to feel beautiful and radiant and magnetic that is our natural state. But then trying to make it happen is not the most authentic way of feeling the real thing of attractiveness, and the real thing of magnetic power. And so, it really is a consequence of this work you know, you will come more into a deep deep embodied place of safety with your feminine embodied energies which already naturally makes you more attractive right. But it will also really show you about what you desire.
So, it's not just about being desired, it's about finding out what actually ignites energy in your body, what creates more energy right? So feminine on a deep deep polarity level feminine is energy, Shakti is energy. And you know masculine is more like a consciousness. And in the Tigress, in the semantic female alchemy that I know and work with and I've been teaching for so many years it's about this inner dance of energy and consciousness and developing ourselves to you know generate what it takes to experience over time in different ways as we heal and as we grow and get to know ourselves, levels of inner union you know, that start to translate into our exterior, our world and isn't just something that you experience on your yoga mat. It's something that actually starts to make sense in your life you know, it's like when women find polarity work or feminine work, often it is the initial pool towards is, is that they want to be chosen, they want to find that man and have that ring on their finger and have that wedding that's up on their dream board or wedding dress and, like all of that can be really beautiful when it's real, when it's authentic you know. But it's a very strong program in our culture for a woman to see that her worthiness is coming from her attractiveness. And her ability to be chosen as such. So the most natural and authentic ways if that will happen as a consequence, but we'll also come along with it, is being more attuned to the frequency of your own desire, to be able to feel real pleasure from sex, from erotic interactions in your own body, in your own field and to let that be a part of what guides you to allow your instinctual intelligence to be this companion in your life where you're no longer at response to what someone else is bringing to you, as though you're just this receptive vessel and you're only this feminine Yin availability, that is an extremely powerful part of ourselves but it's not the only part of ourselves as women.
And I'll do another episode on this, but I talk about the Eve and the Lilith in us as women and so coming to know both of our healthy expressions of both, because there are definitely unhealthy expressions of both Eve and Lilith as well. And so yeah, the inner alchemy work that translates to outer alchemy work as well. It goes far beyond just about becoming more attractive and more magnetic in terms of it being about relationships with other people or relationship with the world or your work, it is about romancing ourselves at a soul level. To really want to be here, to really be able to ground and experience and explore what you as an individual woman, what you as a soul path level, which is very unique to each of us you know, and how attractive that is to you, how magnetic things become to you, when there is more of your soul presence embodied and you're not just experiencing life through this conditioned female psychology that is incredibly limiting into what you can express and experience. And not just you, everyone you're relating to and the world.
And so, I hope this has been helpful today, to journey with me as I break down these four different points that I want to speak to. And like I said if you are a woman who's more new to this work, then I really hope this helps your understanding of what's possible when it comes to somatic female alchemy to feminine embodiment practice. And if you're a woman who's been in this for a while, I would also love to hear from you as well like, what has stood out to you, if maybe the stages that you've observed yourself go through. And maybe you've cycled back into ones that you thought you'd move out of as your healing goes into deeper layers, because it's like a spiral more than a linear process you know. But then there's places that we've definitely are not going to need to revisit when we've really opened up and shaken ourselves free you know, and shake off that programming that just no longer has a place in your reality as a woman when you've come to know yourself as the fullness, more of the fullness of who you are than ever before.
So, I hope that this has served you and I look forward to meeting with you again for the next episode.